Sweet Nothings
by Q. San's Girl
Summary: What happens when a young, married Quinn ends up in a new town while Puck is away? How hard can it be to raise their daughter all on her own? Does she befriend the beautiful woman that lives across the street? Does loneliness ignite a friendship into more? And is it wrong? Of course it is!
1. Chapter 1

Hope you guys enjoy! Read and review! This is what happens when I get snowed in! - Lei xx

My name is Quinn Fabray and I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be? I grew up privileged. I always had the best of the best, my daddy made sure of that. I grew up in Lima, Ohio. I was captain of the cheer squad, I was homecoming queen, prom queen, a straight A student, and a part of the Glee Club. I dated the quarterback, and was extremely popular. I, also, went to Yale and graduated at the top of my class. College was a great experience. Far away from home, and finally getting to be the me I wanted to be. Parties and boys not all stuffy and ladylike like I grew up to be. College is also where I met Noah. Noah and I hit it off right away. He was a local boy who attended every party that was thrown near or around campus. Who knew that he'd end up being the man of my dreams? Mom and Dad weren't necessarily excited about me marrying Noah. Dad thought he was from the wrong side of the tracks and Mom thought we were too young. My dad did gain some respect for him when Noah joined the Army. That was the same year we had our baby girl Beth. That was almost two years ago. I put my career on hold because I couldn't have our baby without her mommy and daddy. Puck was always away and it was something I had to get used to. We just moved into a new house. Dad is excited that we moved out of the city and that we now live in what looks like the neighborhood from Desperate Housewives. Noah was around when we bought the house, but he isn't around now that we are moving in.

Mom, Dad, my sister Fran, and my best friend Brittany came to help me get everything in place and help out with Beth while I organizated the new house. It's hot, and the sun is beaming down on me as I unload the truck. All I can do is wish that Puck was here to help, and to enjoy our new home. I sit the box down on the livingroom floor marked "Puck's Shit" and laugh. Noah's last name is Puckerman and his Army friends call him Puck. I miss him so much more lately than usual. That is the last of the boxes, but I realize I must have left my phone in the car. When I walk outside I notice a beautiful Latina woman across the street getting out of a very nice car with a handsome man that was dressed very nicely as well. They make a cute couple. "Blaine, I swear to God I had nothing to do with your surprise party. That was all the dwarf and baby Elton John!" I laugh at how snarky she is. He seems shocked "Santana, baby Elton John is my husband and Rachel is his best friend BUT you are my best friend. You coulda warned me." The conversation trails off as they walk into the house. I grab my phone and head back into the house. So I stand corrected they aren't a couple. Blaine is Santana's married gay best friend. I'll assume that the car and home across the street are hers. Santana, very fitting for such a beautiful woman. I'm brought out my thoughts by a singing Brittany. I look up to see Britt dancing with Beth in her arms. I can't help but smile at how adorable they look. We order pizza and unpack most of the things before we all head to bed. Everyone including Beth is still asleep when I wake up and get dressed for my morning run. I'm sure eventually I'll find a park around here somewhere but for now down the street will have to do. I close the door quietly and I begin to stretch. I look up to see if Santana is home and she is. There's a light on in what I'll presume is her bedroom if the lay out of her house is like mine, then her kitchen light comes on. She must be up getting ready for church since it is Sunday.

I begin to jog, it's not that hot yet. I'm happy that the sun is just beginning to raise. It seems like a pretty decent time to go for my run, and this neighborhood is really nice. I run past a lot of really nice houses, and run into a few more runners as well. Everyone is nice enough to speak or smile and wave. I finally head back and as I make it closer to my house I see Santana in her driveway kneeled down in front of a cute little dog. She has on black heels and a black dress that fits her just right. I slow down when I get to my drive way she bends down to get the newspaper, she has a great ass... she must workout. Her dog jets across the street right to me. He's so cute and energetic. I squat down to play with him as she walks over to me. I pick him up and hand him over, he can't be anymore than five pounds. "Thanks. He is a little hyper active. You'd think he had a cup of coffee with me this morning." I laugh all the while stunned by how gorgeous she is up close. She stares at me for a second before she introduces herself. "Santana Lopez. Welcome to the neighborhood." I smile "Nice to meet you Santana Lopez. I'm Quinn Puckerman." She lets out a very sultry laugh "Puckerman? Nice!" I repsond "Well if you must know it's my husband's last name. And I think it's a lot better than my maiden name, Fabray!" She tilts her head and smiles "Fabray?! I like it!" Then she winks and turns around to walk off only to turn around and says "I hope to see you around Fabray!" She's sexy and she knows it. The way she sashays away I can't help myself from checking her out one last time. Even after she closes her front door, I'm still stuck in the same spot she left me.

I walk into the house that is now very lively. Beth is giggling, Mom is cooking, Dad is reading the paper, and Brittany is singing the theme song to Beth's favorite cartoon. Life is good, but life would be great if Noah was here. I kiss Mom and Fran on the check and try to steal a piece of bacon before my hand gets smacked away. Dad kisses me on the forehead while getting his second cup of coffee. I walk past Britt and Beth and blow them kisses before I head upstairs to take a shower. I'm a little sad because everyone is leaving. Mom and Dad are probably going to leave right after breakfast since they have a ten hour drive back to Lima. Brittany lives in the heart of New York so it only takes her a little over an hour to get here. Fran lives right up the street in Bridgeport so it takes her maybe half an hour, but when they leave it'll just be Beth and I. I shower. I stay in a little longer than I usually would. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I miss Noah, and I'm surely going to miss my parents. My mind begins to wander. I don't even have any friends here. I mean there's Santana but we don't know each other that well. From how it seems we live in two different worlds. A dog no kids, a gay best friend, no husband. Maybe she has a boyfriend that doesn't live with her, and maybe she and I will become close. I get out of the shower and grab my favorite yellow and white dress. I get dressed while I sing I Say A Little Prayer. I hear a soft tapping at the door. "Come in." It's Britt, she's holding Beth. I can't wait until she has kids of her own whenever that may be. I've known Brittany since we were kids. We went to camp together, we cheered together, we were in Glee together, she was even my first kiss. When we graduated I went to Yale and she went to New York to pursue her dream of dancing. She got accepted to MIT for her book smarts but turned it down to go to NYDA for dance. Now she owns her own dance studio where she also teaches. She's always been a free spirit, I am a little envious of that. She's dated a lot of people, guys and girls. But when she settles down with whoever she settles down with she will be an amazing wife and mother.

I sit down beside her and Beth on my bed. "So Quinn. How about dinner on Friday so we can catch up and get some girl time?" I agree knowing that Fran will have Beth that weekend so I can get some rest, it's been nonstop with the moving. Brittany tells me breakfast is ready and hands Beth to me before going back downstairs. "She missed her mama!" I laugh and smother Beth with kisses. "Mommy loves you! Yes I do!" She coos as I cuddle her into me. Who knew Noah and I could make something so... perfect. I head downstairs not wanting to miss another minute with the people I love the most or my bacon. Everything falls into place. This is my family. I love them and thank God for them. A few hours pass and we have to say goodbye to Mom and Dad. We exchange hugs and kisses and we all wave at them as they drive off. Santana is pulling in her driveway while this is going on. Brittany squints before she sprints over to her screaming Santana! I hear Santana call her BritBrit and I watch as they hug. Santana's hands are still around Brittany's waist while they laugh and talk. I wonder how they know each, and of course it's such a small world. I watch as Brittany walks towards me and Santana heads into her house. Fran speaks first "An ex lovah?" We all giggle, but in my mind I thought the same thing. "I wish! She's hot, but no. We actually went to NYDA together. Some of her best friends are some of my closest friends from New York. We all hang out pretty often. The entire time I knew her she was in love with Dani so no one had a fighting chance!" All I can think is that Dani must have been and probably still is a lucky man.

We all sat around and talk about the good old days before Brit and Fran head out. The house is so quiet and it begins to hit me. I'm alone, Beth and I are only. A week goes by fast and I'm finally starting to get into the groove of things. I know were more stuff is, I've met a few of the ladies on the block, and my house is starting to feel like a home. Fran comes to pick Beth up for their weekend Thursday night. I stand on my front porch and watch them drive off. This is the first actual time I've been away from Beth since I had her, and the first time I've been alone since college. Tears begin to fall down my cheek. I hear a familiar "Hey Fabray!" I wipe my face and look up to meet dark brown eyes with my hazel ones. "Hi Santana." She walks closer "Did I catch you at a bad time?" Her face is very telling, I can see concern. "No. I'm just being a girl, I guess. My first time being without her, my family, and my husband. It all feels strange." I laugh at how mushy I must sound. She steps even closer and rubs my arm. I feel an instant spark while she rubs my arms up and down with her warm, soft hands. "Hey, that's understandable but at least you have family here. I know all too well how it feels to be alone. It'll be okay. She'll be back before you know it. Where is your husband if you don't mind me asking?" I sit on the stairs and she follows. "She's just gone the weekend. You are very right. My husband is deployed, he's in the Army. And actually my sister and Brit are the only ones close. My parents still live in Lima. My sister lives about a half hour from here. She actually went to Yale like I did and met her husband while she was in college and decide to stay here." I look up and she just seems to be listening intently. "Crazy similarities between you and your sister and who knew I'd meet two beautiful blondes in my lifetime that are from Lima, Ohio." I smiled as she continued "I'm sure your sister offered to take your daughter so you can get some rest. Everyone needs a little me time. And as long as I'm here you'll never be alone. If my car is here, I'm here. And you are always welcomed to stop by, or call." She places her hand on my knee. "While I appreciate the thought of what you just said. I wouldn't want to impose on your life. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't like it if Beth and I were always around." She chuckled "What makes you think I have a boyfriend? And even if I did, he'd have to deal with it!"

"Just assumed. I mean you're so beautiful and Brit said something about how no one stood a fighting chance when you were with Dani. So I figured..." she cut me off "Well aren't you full of assumptions? Dani and I broke up our senior year and I haven't really dated since my relationship with her." HER?! Did she say her? Of course she did! Wait... so she was flirting with me? No of course not, she knows I'm married and straight. But I was checking her out, and now I'm lost in my thought while she waits on me to say something, anything. I break the silence "You're a lesbian?" I almost turn red by my own comment, maybe she's bisexual, maybe Dani was her first and only female love. It's not so simple nowadays. Just because you date the same sex doesn't mean you are gay. "Yes. Ever since my childhood crush on Janet Jackson. I guess people don't really know until I tell them because I am so feminine..." my eyes rake over her body, that she is! "And I also like very feminine women so most people think nothing of it. It's not like I'm butch and have lesbo written across my head in the form of a short haircut." I laugh at how rude yet funny that was. I bet Santana was the mean girl in high school, takes one to know one. I ignore all of rambling "So are you gonna give me your number or not?" She takes my phone out of my hand, puts her number in, and calls her phone so she'll have my number. She stands up, helps me up, and says good night but gives me a hug this time. She's a little shorter than me without heels, our bodies just fit when she wraps her arms around me. I pull her in closer, and sigh. It's been awhile since I've hugged someone who wasn't family or Brittany. Someone who smells delicious, is attractive, and feels so fucking good. I let go, and back up at the thought. She slowly lets me go but runs her hands down my arms and holds both my hands. "Don't be a stranger Fabray." I smile as I scream across the street "It goes both ways Lopez." I walk in my house and sit on the couch. I had a missed text from Fran saying that they had made it safely. I closed my eyes and thought about what just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Friday around dinner time and I'm meeting Brit at this swanky restaurant downtown. I'm already sitting when she arrives. I stand and give her kisses on both cheeks. We order our food, and wine. Brittany is telling me how she has been working with a few celebrities recently when I notice a text message from Santana. 'Hi. Just wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner this weekend?" I smiled and replied 'I'd love to! How about tomorrow? Your treat?' She replies right back 'It's a date. I'll pick you up at 6.' It's a date? I'm sure I blushed a little at that. 'It's a date! See you then Santana.' "Earth to Quinn! Helloooooo!" I look up to see a laughing Brittany and my blush returns. "Well who is that because you completely tuned me out?" I hesitated to answer but do reluctantly "Santana." Brittany stares at me for awhile saying absolutely nothing with her lips but accusing me with her eyes. "Say it! Go ahead! Just say it!" She sighs and lets me have it "You're lonely and vulnerable. Don't get caught up. Don't confuse lonely with love. Puck loves you, you love him. I'm sure a lot of Army wives cheat, but is that who you wanna be? She's hot and something different but that alone can be it's own can of worms outside of the fact that you are a happily married woman with a great man and a beautiful daughter. Santana is a flirt, she's charming, she's witty, she's kind, and sexy. Quinn just... just be careful."

I feel very obligated to stand up for myself. "I'd never cheat on Noah. He's my world, my family is my world. Plus I'm not that into that. Sure Santana is all of those things you said but I'm not attracted to her in that way. We are neighbors and friends that is it!" Brittany gives me a glare that if looks could kill it would've been the death of me. Our food comes, we eat, and the mood becomes lighter as the night goes on. We say our goodbyes and on the way home all I can think of is how right she was and how many lies I was telling her and myself. I'm not attracted to females but Santana is different and that scares me, intrigues me, excites me. If Puck was here I wouldn't think twice about her. I'm lonely and horny that's a bad mixture of things to be. I get home notice that Santana's car isn't home. I strip and shower. Best shower ever. I look out of my opened blinds as I pull up my pajama pants. Santana is home and not alone. Her bedroom window is open. This is the first time I've seen into her house. I feel like I should stop watching but I can't. I turn off the lights.

It's very obvious that Santana has been drinking, as well as her guest. Santana grabs the front of the girls shirt after she kicks off her heels and rips the girls shirt open pulling it off. Santana wastes no time ravishing her with kisses. Kissing her lips, her face, her neck, down her chest. I see Santana's hands unclasp the beautiful blonde's bra and it drops to the floor as the blonde tosses her head back. I can only assume that Santana is kissing, licking, sucking her nipples because even though I can't see Santana has one hand on the girls back and the other one is in front of her touching and rubbing. I lay down and close my eyes. I really shouldn't be watching this. I mean it's creepy to watch two complete strangers have sex. I don't know much about Santana and even though she hasn't had a relationship since Dani it's obvious that she has hooked up with girls. But she is single so why wouldn't she? My breath is shaky and there is a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I close my eyes even tighter and imagine what Santana is doing to her. Then I begin to think what it would feel like if Santana was doing the same thing to me. I swallow the lump in my throat as I dare to look up. I sit still on my bed as I watch Santana eat the girl out. The way the other girl is enjoying it is more than evident that Santana knows exactly what she's doing. Her body trembles through an orgasm and the girl completely undresses Santana who is now in just her bra and panties. This feels so wrong but I can't look away. Santana's body is amazing. I don't even want to blink. I notice that I'm rocking back and forth and that my thighs are squeezed together. I'm horny. I can't even take it any more so I let my hand slip into my pajama pants. I look up and Santana's hands are buried in the girls hair as the girl is between her thighs. The way Santana grinds her hips into every lick. The way her face is showing everything she's feeling. Her brow and mouth are showing off the beautiful agony that is fastly approaching. My hand speeds up it's motions around my clit while I watch Santana on the verge of unraveling. I can feel my body start to clench as I watch Santana's orgasm hit her like ocean waves on sand and I come undone.

I watch as Santana's body go limp and she lays on her bed. The girl gives Santana a peck before getting her clothes back on and leaving. Santana just lays across her bed naked and doesn't budge. I get up and take another shower. I feel... I don't know how I feel. Empty, mostly. But I feel guilty for watching them. Guilty for touching myself while thinking about Santana. I try to think logically. It's no different than porn right? I mean men can rub one out to porn and they're just being men but if women do it's taboo. I try to make the thoughts go away but dammit watching Santana was incredible. I have to stop thinking about it because I want to touch myself again. I step out of the shower and hit the lights in the bedroom. I decide on just a t-shirt this time so I throw it on the bed and go to close the blinds only to notice Santana sitting on the edge of her bed with the sheet covering her body staring in the direction of my bedroom. A million thoughts go through my head. Does she know that I watched her have sex, is she even looking over her or is she in her own thoughts, and if she is watching me what does she want to see. I reach up to close the blinds and purposely drop my towel, then I fake a stretch and yawn before closing the blinds. Not before catching Santana's reaction to seeing me drop my towel. She bites her bottom lip. I see it with my own two eyes.

I lay in bed with thoughts and feelings I've never had. I begin to fall asleep when my phone dings. It's Santana. 'Can't wait to see you tomorrow.' I smile and roll over and finally fall asleep. When I do wake up it's to my phone ringing. I answer without looking, I'm still trying to wake up. "Hello?" "Well hello to you too babymama!" I sit straight up in bed "Noah! Hi baby!" His laugh soothes my soul "Do you miss me?" I moan "You know I do baby!" "Well I miss you too and Beth. How are my girls?" I smile "We're fine. Beth is staying with Frannie for the weekend. So I can get some rest. I already miss her." He laughs really hard before he asks "Did you cry when she left?" I shake my head "You know I did!" There's a comfortable pause. We stay on the phone awhile and I tell him about the new house, the neighborhood, Brittany's newfound fame, and Santana. He says it's good that I've found a friend, and I agree. He reminded me that he'll be home soon and I can hardly contain myself. We get off the phone and my day is atomically better. I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. My day flows along pretty well. I run some errands and do somethings around the house knowing that Beth will be back tomorrow night. I text Santana to ask what should I wear for dinner and all I get in response is "Something sexy!" Sexy huh? I can do that.

I pick out a pair of gold heels to go along with my tight blue dress. I get ready. Make up, check. Perfume, check. Hair done, check. Sexy bra and panties, check. Sexy outfit, and shoes, check. Jewelry, check. I look down at my wedding ring. I slip it off and put it in my jewelry box. I hear the doorbell ring. I go downstairs after checking myself out one last time. I grab my purse and keys and open the door. Santana is standing there in a green top and black skirt with heels on. Her hair is flowing, her eyes bright, her lips kissable. I watch her as she checks me out. I close the door and walk past her. "Close your mouth Lopez, don't act like you've never seen a pretty girl before!" We get to her car and she opens my door for me. I say "Thank you" and she smiles back. The drive wasn't that long which is probably good because as soon as we got there Santana takes a few shots of tequila. "Take a shot with me" she slides a full shot glass towards me. "I really don't drink Santana." I slide it back to her. "Such a pussy" she mumbled under her breath and I gladly took that as a challenge and threw back her last three shots. Our table is ready so as we leave the bar and make our way to our table, I walk closely behind her and whisper in her ear "How was that for a pussy?" She retorts back without missing a beat "Wet." Yet again she has the upper hand. She has more experience. She's a better flirt, and she's more sexual. It's not fair. I blush at her comment, she laughs.

We order our food and a drink. I order a Sex on the Beach she orders a LIT. I probably shouldn't drink anymore because I'm starting to feel the effects of the shots but I do drink nonetheless. I drink a lot more than I normally would. I blame it on nerves, and all of a sudden my inhibitions are out the door. I'm openly flirting, talking about sex, and I'm enjoying myself. The food was excellent and so was the company. The ride home Santana and I had a sing along. When she pulls into my driveway neither of us speaks for awhile. She's the first to break the silence "Well, I had a really good time Q." I smile at the nickname "Me too Santana" She leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek and I thought she was going for a hug so I turn around and her lips land square on mine. Neither of us kiss back but we don't move either. In that moment it took all the willpower I had not to kiss her. I pull back and her eyes are darker than usual and low. I get out of the car and wave as I make my way inside. I take a huge sigh of relief. See, just friends. A little flirting never hurt anyone. I go upstairs, take a quick shower, and change into a WMHS t-shirt and some of my old Cheerio sweats. I go to grab my phone so I can call Brit but I can't find it.

I realize I must have left it in Santana's car. I can't call her so I slide on my running shoes and walk over to her place. It's starting to rain. I ring the doorbell. Nothing. I wait awhile, and ring it again. I hear footsteps. She finally opens the door and in that very second it's like the sky falls in. It begins raining cats and dogs. She pulls me inside and closes the door. "Can't have you dripping wet, now can we?" Was she doing this on purpose or maybe I just need to sober up and stop being such a creep. I tell her I think I left my phone in her car as she dries her hair with her towel. She was in the shower when I came over which is why she took so long. She is wearing short black shorts and a NYDA shirt. "Well unless you wanna go outside and get soaked have a sit until the rain slows down." I sit down taking notes as I go. I see pictures everywhere. Her and Blaine and Blaine's husband I'll assume. Her in a cheerleading outfit and a strangely dressed girl who looks slightly familiar. Santana with a younger guy who looks like her, possible brother maybe. Santana with an older man and woman each kissing her on the cheek in her cap and gown from graduation, her parents. She turns on some music. Candles are lit and she sits beside me. "I don't like to watch tv much especially when I'm trying to wind down at night, I hope the music is okay." I shake my head "It's fine. I love jazz" and I sit back laying my head on the back of the couch. Her house smells like her, it looks like her, it's very fitting. Especially her bedroom. It's dark but sexy. Feminine but masculine at the same time. The song changes and it's Coltrane's In A Sentimental Mood. I open my eyes. She is in the kitchen making herself a cup of apple juice and swaying. I love this song it's sad, sexy, you can feel the emotions, the longing. She turns to ask me if I want something to drink and proceeds to list what she has "I have water, wine, beer, apple juice, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and lemonade." I'm already on my feet making my way to her before she is even finishes. I grab her cup out of her hand "Is it okay if I just have a sip of yours?" She nods and crosses her arms as she leans against the kitchen counter. I take a sip and place the glass back in her hand.

She sits the glass down and takes two steps forward invading my personal space. We're face to face. She takes her fingertips and rubs them across my cheek. She whispers so low I can barely hear her "You had something... right there." I close my eyes at the closeness. I can't breathe. I forgot how to breathe! Her hands are now on my hips and she's swaying. I begin to sway too. Her forehead is resting against mine. The song ends and It Never Entered My Mind by Miles Davis comes on. We continue to sway until I realize the rain has slowed down. I push away, but she pulls me back in. I whisper "Santana, the rain has stopped." She holds me close as we dance "But the song hasn't." We dance until the end of the song and she lets go of me right as Moody's Mood for Love comes on. She grabs her keys and hands me her jacket. I put it on and throw the hood over my head. I'm instantly engulfed by her scent, and it's like Heaven. Sure enough it's still raining, and my phone is in her car. I say thank you and tell her I'll return her jacket soon. We say our good nights. Instead of calling Brittany I lay in bed and think.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been almost two weeks since I've heard from or seen Santana. I honestly don't know what is going on. I want to text or call, but if she wants to get in touch with me she will. I just hope and pray everything is okay. I look for her car throughout the day, but still nothing. I'm more than concerned. I push all the bad thoughts away and keep busy. It's a really bad habit I have, distracting myself from problems. I have lunch with some of the lovely ladies in the neighborhood today. They seem fairly decent. We talk a lot about me. I tell them about my upbringing and how I ended up here. They all have their hands over their hearts when I talk about Noah. I miss him, I hate that he's missing Beth grow up, and I just want him to make it back to me safely. My mind slightly drifts to the fact that lately my prayers include Santana and asking God to take care of her and bring her back to me safely as well. Erin is a gossip. She's lived on this block the longest and I'm sure knows more than she should about everyone. I listen to her talk about how Santana is gone back to California because her grandmother died, and how she just feels really bad for her. She continues to talk about how Santana has lost a lot, her younger brother died in a car accident a few years back, Dani cheated on her, and now her grandmother who never fully accepted Santana as being a lesbian is gone as well. I realize I'm covering my heart like they were before. My heart is heavy and I can't take it anymore. I excuse myself from the room to check on the kids. I'm watching my niece and nephew today for Fran. They are significantly older than Beth so I peek in on them in the play room and realize the girls are watching Toy Story 3 and Kyle is playing with the his cars. I stand in the hallway and pull out my phone. I call Santana, it goes straight to voicemail.

"Hi Santana. I just heard about your grandmother. I'm so sorry for your lose. I just want you to know that when you get back, I'll be here waiting for you. Doesn't matter what you need or when you need it, I'm here. I miss you. Try to take care of yourself. See you soon hopefully." I take a few minutes to let the tears that are on the brink of falling to fade before I make it back downstairs. I return to the conversation but I'm not really present. I hear my phone buzz and I grab it. It's Fran asking what time should she come pick up Brooke and Kyle. I tell her I'll drop them off because I need to get out of the house. The truth is I need to get out of my head. I'm a worrier, always have been. That's the trouble about caring for someone, you have another person to worry about. Lunch with the ladies isn't so bad and we all agree to meet up and do it again. The kids and I enjoy the rest of the day before I head out to Fran's. I get there around nine. Beth is tuckered out. She falls asleep with her head in my lap while I talk to Fran about Santana.

"You really care about her huh?" I shift uncomfortably "I do. She's been the best friend I've had since moving there. When I felt alone she was there, I want to do the same thing for her." She puts her hand on my knee "Ah, the curse of being a kind person we care too much! She's lucky to have you." I mumble unconsciously "I'm lucky to have her." Fran looks at me with a look that wasn't as bad as Brittany's death glare but still very telling. It doesn't take us long to get home and I put Beth straight to bed. I go back to the van to grab my things I couldn't grab when I carried Beth in and Santana pulls into her driveway. I watch her get out but I hesitate on whether I should go over or not. I close the van door and she looks up. I proceed with caution but make my way across the street. I'm met by that voice I've missed so much "Hi." I don't speak back I just launch myself into a hug. She hugs back tightly. We hold each other for a very long time before she pulls back. "Hi" I finally say. "I got your voicemail I was still traveling so I didn't get a chance to answer. I was just gonna stop by tomorrow." I grab her hand "No it's fine. I was just worried about you." She moves her hand "You don't have to be. I'm used to this kinda thing." She turns around and grabs her phone out of her car before she closes the door.

I can tell that she's kind of like Noah. Not good with showing emotions and doesn't like to seem weak. I don't care with him, just like I don't care with her. I grab her hand this time and don't allow her to push me away. "Even though it's part of live to lose things Santana, you are still allowed to feel. To feel sad, mad, or whatever it is you feel. You don't have to be so tough all the time." I see tears falling down her face. She slides down the side of her car and sits down in the driveway. I sit beside her with my arms around her. No words are said. She finally stops crying "I'm sorry. I guess I just let things build up and..." I cut her off "Shhhh... you don't have to explain yourself to me, ever." I stand up first and give her my hands to help her up. When I pull her up she ends up face to face with me. We share these looks. A feeling I can never explain when my eyes meet hers. I ask her if she's going to unpack and she says probably not. That's when I ask her if she want to spend the night. She says no because she doesn't want to impose and she doesn't want to get too used to having me around. I talk her into it, not taking no for an answer, I got that gift from my mom. We agree that we'll both shower and then she'll come over. I hear my phone dig. "Here... didn't wanna ring the doorbell and wake up Beth." I open the door "She sleeps like a bear just like Noah, she wouldn't have budged." We both laugh. I ask her if she's ready to sleep or if she wants to stay up awhile. She says sleep. She sits on the couch and I look at her in confusion. "Santana what are you doing?" She looks as confused as I must "I'm sitting on the couch. I mean aren't you going to get me some blankets and pillows or something." I realize she thinks I asked her over just so she wouldn't be alone and she was sleeping downstairs. I grab her hand and pull her up "Tonight Lopez you sleep with me."

We make it to the bedroom and she takes off her shoes and sits her phone down on the nightstand. "So left or right?" I know that matters to some people. "Um right." So I sit on the edge of the left side to take off my socks and she makes her way to the right side. This is more awkward than prom night with Finn. I lay down first, then she follows. I turn off the light. This is the first time I've shared this bed with anyone other than Beth, even Noah hasn't slept in it. That doesn't sit well with me but it's too late to turn back now, and I can't let her be alone. I said I'd be here and I promise myself I will. I feel her move around. I'm on my side facing the door. I roll over and she is facing the wall with her back towards me. I slide closer to her and put my arm around her. I feel her body tighten and then relax a little. This feels normal. More natural than it probably should. She turns around and we're face to face. "Q, I'm usually the big spoon! And I be damned if you big spoon me!" I giggle "You wanna big spoon me then? Is that what you're saying?" She laughed "It just feels weird. Can I big spoon you?" I turn around with my back towards her "Spoon away!" She slides closer and presses her body into my back. She's so warm, and soft. And she smells so good. She wraps her arm around me and I feel so cozy and safe. "Better?" I ask. "Mmhm... much!" She reply her lips really close to my neck. I shiver at how her voice sounds so close to my ear, and how her breath tickles my hands neck. "Good. Get some rest." She pulls me in a little tighter and I go to sleep with ease.

I wake up to singing from down stairs. I rub my eyes, Santana isn't in the bed anymore. I smell food, I definitely smell bacon. I go to wash my face and brush my teeth before I look in Beth's empty room. I head downstairs to a singing and cooking Santana and Beth trying to sing and eating a chopped up banana. I stand in the doorway with my arms crossed. I smile at how adorable this scene is. How natural Santana seems to be in the kitchen, around Beth, and her singing. She sounds like an angel. She pours Beth some milk in a cup with a lid and hands it to her then rubs her hair before noticing me at the door. She shots me a million dollar Santana Lopez smile and continues singing and cooking. Omelets, bacon, ham, hash browns, and french toast. I feel like a queen when all is said and done. She plates the food and doesn't even allow me to get up for anything. She gets my juice, napkin, and silverware. We eat and the food is amazing. Beth and Santana play around during the meal and I can't help but laugh. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. And for once this house feels like home. "So is there a reason you woke up and decided to be all domestic today?" She looks up "I will have you know I always channel the essence of Claire Huxtable! I'm very domestic!" We both laugh "But I just wanted to thank you for last night. Beside you're always so busy taking care of Beth and everyone else. Who takes care of you Q?" She gets up to make herself some more juice and I let that question resonate. Who takes care of me? I take care of me, that's who!

After we finish eating I help Santana with the dishes. Before she goes home to unpack. I spend the rest of the day thinking about what she said. "Who takes care of you Q?" I can't shake it. I should try because I want to call her and ask her to spend the night again. But I don't want this to be that. I don't want her to feel like she's filling a void for me and I'd never want her to treat me like that's all I am to her. Night time rolls around and Beth and I are on the couch when I receive a text. 'I hope you had a great day. I'm finally finished unpacking.' I text back 'Thank you. I did have a great day. Me and the munchkin are watching a movie before she heads to bed.' I look down and Beth's already asleep. I carry her upstairs. When I return I check my phone 'So anything planned after Beth goes to sleep?' I sit down on the couch and curl my feet underneath me 'What'd you have in mind Lopez?' I flip through the channels to watch something that's not a cartoon. 'You. Me. Wine. A movie.' I smile 'It's a date.' I look down at my outfit and I realize I look like a mom. I run upstairs to shower and change. I make it a quick shower before grabbing a pair of short shorts I put them on with no panties and a tank top no bra. I go back downstairs, and wait. She shows up about twenty minutes later. She is wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Apparently I did something right because when I open the door she looks at every inch of skin she can see starting with my thighs. I internally pat myself on the back and turn around so she can get a nice view of my ass! I hear a barely there "Mmm" as she closes the door behind her and I smirk. I go grab wine glasses and she puts in a movie she brought from home. Breakfast At Tiffany's. She tells me it's her favorite movie and I have to admit on never seeing it. So we watch it and sip wine. My legs are across her lap and we talk about how exquisite Audrey Hepburn is. The movie ends and I'm a little buzzed, so is Santana noticeably. Her hand is rubbing my leg. I just look at her. She looks up at me and stops rubbing. I laugh. I excuse myself to check on Beth, no doubt she watches me exit the room.

Even before I return I hear moaning. What in the hell is Santana watching. I sit back on the couch "I didn't know you had it in you Q!" I'm confused. "A porn called Jungle Bunnies stashed behind the kiddie movies?! Nice one!" I blush knowing that it has to be Noah's and some how got mixed up with the other dvds, but I play it off "Hey a girl has needs, my husband has been gone for five months now." Santana laughs and I can tell that it has more than a hint of mischief in it. "What?" I squint my eyes at her. "Nothing Q. It's just didn't think you'd be getting off the lesbian porn. It's kinda... hot!" The way she said hot made my stomach flip! I look at the scene and indeed it is lesbian porn. I think quick but end up telling a truth I've never admitted "Women are beautiful. I find them very attractive. Guy on girl porn is gross." Santana is stunned by my confession, I'm a little stunned I said it out loud. "Have you ever been with a woman?" And then it happens "No I haven't. I've kissed girls before, made out with them, but I've never had sex with them. Not because I didn't want to though." I'm not that drunk, I'm barely tipsy but Santana is so easy to open up to. "You and Brittany?" I look at her "Yeah. We were always around each other I was the first person she told she was bi and I didn't mind. I think at one point we were really into each other but we didn't want to ruin our friendship so we took a step back. That was in high school. In college whenever I'd get drunk I'd make out with girls, the guys loved it, including Noah." She laughs "And all this time I thought Quinn Fabray was a prude!" I laughed back "Far from it Lopez!" I can see the look in her eyes like I ignited something. "Craziest place you've ever had sex?" I fire back "In the library. You?" "On top of a police car!" Okay she has me beat on that one. She asks another question "Favorite position?" I think for a second "I like it from the back. You?" "Yes! I mean I like to... to give... to give it to girls from the back." I laugh because I realize I for once have the upper hand. She flustered, she's not used to me being this honest. "So you like giving it to girls from the back? With your fingers, tongue, or your strap-on?" I can see her thoughts go wild. "All of the above." Her voice is dripping in sex, and I can tell this conversation is doing nothing but fueling the sexual tension between us.

"How big is it?" She looks at me, I lick my lips. Her eyes dart from my lips back to my eyes. "It's like 8 inches and pretty thick." I relish in the thought of her with it on, and how sexy that would be. I am brought out of my thoughts by the scene on tv. There are two beautiful women and one is sitting on the others face. And she has to be close to having an orgasm because of how loud she just got. I'm really turned on at this point. I grab the remote and turn the tv off. "Too hot for you Q?" I look at her and laugh. She excuses herself to go to the bathroom. While she's gone I realize how horny I am. My nipples are hard from excitement I wonder if Santana has noticed them. I shake my head. Why does she have to be so sexy? I lay my head back on the couch before I decide to get up. I get up and go get a glass of water and like the klutz that I am I spill it down my shirt. I'm wiping my shirt off with a towel when Santana comes into the kitchen. "Apparently I forgot how to drink water." I giggle and she is staring at my shirt. I realize that it's completely see through now because not only is it white but it's drenched in water. Oh and I'm braless and my nipples are hard. Great, fucking great!

She walks over to me. I'm trying to not to freak out but my body is a different story. My heart is racing, I'm getting hot, and my breathing is shallow. She walks up to me and pulls my body into hers. She kisses my cheek, then my other cheek, then my chin. Her lips feel so good, so soft. I want her to kiss me everywhere. She trails light kissed down my neck and I can feel myself get wetter. I should stop her, but I don't want to. Her hand lifts my shirt over my head and she kisses my collar bone. My hand is playing in her hair as she makes her way down. Her mouth reaches my nipple and I go crazy. My whole body is on fire. Her hands around my waist, her lips around my nipple, and tongue flicking it. I pull my shorts halfway down my thigh. Her hand makes it's way between my thighs and I'm in heaven. I feel someone tap me. Wait... what? I fell asleep on the couch and Santana is waking me up. I think back to the last thing that actually happened. She went to the bathroom. That was an amazing dream! She says something about leaving so I can get some rest but I tell her to stay. She says yes, but tells me this will be the last night she stays. Even I can tell she's lying. I go to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water then we head upstairs. She slips out of her shorts and is only wearing a thong and shirt. I purposely spill the water all over myself. Her eyes widen in shock and laughter. "Shit. Apparently I forgot how to drink water!" We both laugh, she stares at my seethrough shirt, and I turn the light off before I take my shirt off and get in bed. Two can play that game Lopez.

I can tell that she didn't notice I took my shirt off in the dark until she was spooning me. Her hand runs across my bare stomach and she pauses. I close my eyes knowing what I want to happen but kind of wishing that it doesn't. She begins to rub light circles against my skin with her thumb. All I can think is I want her to move up or down because rubbing where she's rubbing is doing nothing for me. I take my hand and put it on top of hers. She stops moving. I arch my back so that my ass is pressing firmly against her pussy. She moved back slightly before moving closer. Did she just hump me? I laugh to myself at the thought, such a guy move! I start to squirm and I turn to lay on my back. It's dark but I know there's enough light to see. I make sure the covers fall past my boobs. Santana's hand still in place on my stomach. Is there absolutely nothing I can do to make her touch me?! I'm so frustrated and all I want is for her to touch me. I hear light snoring beside me. Are you fucking kidding me?! Really?! She's asleep and I'm up horny. I think about sneaking out of the bed and getting off in the shower but I might wake her. So I slide my hand down the front of my shorts pausing occasionally to make sure she's asleep. I rub my clit until I feel like I can't take anymore. Santana's hand moves and I still my movements. I close my eyes tightly hoping that she is just moving in her sleep until I feel her lips against my ear. "Go ahead and finish... you're so close."


	4. Chapter 4

My breathe catches in my throat and I could cum just at the sound of her voice. I open my eyes because I feel the sheets being pulled down and away from my body, our bodies. I look over at Santana whose hand is now doing the same thing mine was minutes ago. I pull my shorts off. I need to finish, this has surpassed want. I watch as she works her clit and her body trembles. Two fingers now deep inside me as I watch her. She lifts her shirt and rubs her nipples "Fuck... yessss!" I fell a puddle of wetness between my thighs. I want to keep my eyes open but it feels so good. I'm pumping in and out of my soaking wet pussy while Santana lays beside me in pure bliss and ecstasy. Her moans are the sexiest thing I've ever heard. When I watched her have sex there were things I didn't see or hear. I didn't see the soft sheen of sweat that she works up and how sexy it looks across her skin. I didn't hear the nosies she makes from the way she says "fuck yes" like they're the only two words she knows or the way her moans seem like she's begging her body for release. I stop thinking so much because thinking too much for me is a bad thing and thinking right now could ruin everything. I watch Santana through hooded eyes. "Quinn..." that's all it takes for me to come undone. Her voice full of passion, and want calling out, moaning my name. " Santana, I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna..." I cum and it feels amazing. She comes too. We lay in silence, and although it should be comfortable, it's the furthest thing from. I need to get out of my head, she needs to do the same. We're both thinking so loudly that words don't need to be said but I'm the first to speak. "Santana, talk to me?" She gets out of bed and starts to put the rest of her clothes back on. She's sobbing. "I just told myself that what we were doing is okay. But it's not okay. You are married! We just got off together in you and your husbands bed with your daughter down the hall. I can't."

I watch her walk out of my bedroom, I listen to her footsteps down the stairs, and out the front door. I'm numb. I'm stuck. I can't move or breathe or scream or cry. I'm broken. Did I cheat? I don't know. She hasn't touched me, we haven't even kissed. But I want all of that. We crossed the line between right and wrong by leaps and bounds disguised as baby steps. Every interaction between us was simply us testing the waters. I blame myself, I blame her, and I blame Noah! How could he leave me? How could he think that it is best for him to be so far away when we need him the most! I shouldn't have to find comfort in someone else and I shouldn't have to find comfort in lies. I'm pissed the fuck off! I get up and put my clothes on. I check on Beth who is sleeping and grab my keys. Exiting the house and locking the door behind me. I storm across the street and bang on Santana's door. "Are you fucking crazy? You're gonna wake up the entire neighborhood!" I stare at her with a blank expression on my face "Then let me in." She moves aside and I walk in. She closes the door and turns to look at me. "What? What do you want Quinn?" I stand a little taller knowing that this is all or nothing. Here goes...

"I want you. From the outside looking in, my life looks perfect. I grew up wanting nothing. Then I got married, and had Beth. It was everything I always wanted. But I feel numb Santana! I should be happy but I'm not. I should feel alive but I'm not. I should feel loved but I don't... unless I'm with you. You make me feel things I never knew were possible. I find myself wishing that I had met you before I met Noah. Everything feels right with you even when it's wrong. I won't regret what happened between us." She crossed her arms "Are you gonna leave him?" I stepped closer to her "Do you want me to?" She almost whispered back "I want you to be happy. Do whatever you wanna do." So I kiss her. I kiss her like I've never kissed anyone before. It's like fireworks. It's what dreams are made of. It feels like it's in slow motion but it ended all too quickly. "What do we do now?" I don't know how to answer that. We sit on her couch and hold hands no words are said. I speak up when I notice the time to say I have to go home and check on Beth.

When I get home I lay in bed and I barely sleep thinking about what my life has become. How Santana's lips feel against mine. I get up and take a shower even then my thoughts haunt me. I hear a knock on the door. I wonder if it's her but her car isn't home. I go check it out. I open the door and just my luck it's exactly what I love and hate all in one. "It's a damn shame a man has to knock and ring the doorbell to his own house." Noah leans in and kisses me. My head is spinning. We walk in the house and he gets settled in. He goes to get Beth and then he checks out the house. He showers while I make breakfast. We have our first meal as a family in our new home. We talk and he plays with Beth until it's time to put her down for a nap. "So now that we're alone... how about some lovin' woman?" I laugh and kiss him as we stand in the hallway. He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. He sits on the bed and I straddle him. His hands move up my back as we kiss. He feels like home. Like comfort, and stability. But he's not. He is what I'm used to, what I settled for not who I'm meant for. I push those thoughts out of mind as we make love. I make sure he uses a condom to his disappointment. I refuse to raise Beth and another child on my own, it's already hard enough. And the unspoken truth, I don't belong to him, I'm Santana's.

We fall asleep wrapped in each other and I'm the first to wake up. It was okay. It wasn't grand or special. It was a man having sex with his wife. I start to think back on our sex life. It was never anything special. It was what I was supposed to do. It's not full of passion and want. I wonder how that is. How I never knew that my body could react to another person the way it reacts to Santana. That I could feel so desired just by the look in her eyes. Noah starts to stir and I get up to get Beth. I ask Noah what he wants for dinner and he tells me to surprise him. I get ready to go to the grocery store when I see Santana pull up. Noah runs outside to ask me if I can pick up some peanut M&Ms. I can only imagine the look on her face but I don't have to as Noah walks off the porch towards me I see his eyes drift to my right. "Hi. I'm Santana. You must be Noah." She extends her hand for him to shake it. He grabs her hand but pulls her in for a hug. I watch as my husband hugs my lover. He pulls back "You're like family as much as babymama talks about you and you can call me Puck. Only my mom and the wife here call me Noah." Santana gives a smile that to me is heartbreaking and this moment is a bitter reality. "Well nice to meet you Puck!" There's silence and I study her face, search her body language for something I'm scared to find.

"Santana you should come to dinner tonight. Quinn is cooking and I'd love to spend some time with my wife's best friend." I look at her knowing that she'll say no "Sure. I just have to wait for my best friend to come pick up his puppy and then I'll come over." I feel really small, like I could curl up and die. Why would she want to come over and spend time with us? Why is she so calm about it all? Am I overreacting? She says she'll see us later and Noah goes back into the house. I sit in the parking lot of the grocery store and cry uncontrollable for almost forty minutes. I decide to make bbq chicken, corn on the cob, green beans, potato salad, and peach cobbler. I get everything I'll need plus a big bag of peanut M&Ms and more beer for Noah. When I pull up Noah and Santana come out to help carry the groceries into the house. I trust her so I'm not concerned about her slipping up and tell him about us but I don't understand her angle. They are sitting on the couch drinking beer while I cook. Santana finds her way to me finally. "Do you need any help?" I walk up to her and say in a low and even voice "Why are you here?" She crosses her arms "I wanted to see him to see you two. I wanted you to see us all together to know that this..." she points at my heart then hers "is real! This isn't something we can just hide. When he's gone it's easy. What happens when he's here?" I roll my eyes and turn to walk back to the stove. She grabs my wrist "Did you miss him? Were you happy to see him? Did you fuck him in the same bed I've been sleeping in?" Tears begin to fall down my face and she lets my arm go. I turn back to the stove just in time as Noah comes in to get another beer. "Smells good babe! looks like I lost you Lopez, you're missing a good game!" Santana laughs "I'll be back in a minute. Q decided to put me to work!" He hands her another beer and heads back into the livingroom.

Tears are still running down my cheeks, my heart is heavy, and I haven't stopped feeling anxious since... since I can't even remember. I feel arms wrap around my waist and hands rest on my stomach. I sigh. "I'm sorry." I turn in her arms so that we are face to face before she says it again "I'm sorry." I'm looking in her eyes and I'm in her arms and I feel safe. I press my forehead to hers and close my eyes. It's like time stops. I know that Noah is just a room away but I don't even care. If he does walk in he'll know and this will all be over. I feel Santana's lips on mine. My hands find the back of her neck as she pulls me in closer. Nothing has ever felt like this. Absolutely nothing. We kiss until we're both breathless then she grabs her beer takes a huge sip then walks back into the livingroom. I finish cooking. I can't stop thinking about Santana. What am I doing? I almost feel like I have no control over it, but I know I do. I call them in for dinner. Noah goes to wash up and wash Beth's hands before he comes in to sit down. I'm making their plates while Santana is making the drinks. It's fairly obvious how comfortable she is in our home and Noah seems to think nothing of it. We eat, Beth continuously blows kisses to Santana throughout the meal. Noah and Santana both tell me how amazing everything is. We all agree to wait awhile before eating dessert because we're far too full.

I clean the kitchen with Santana's help and we all watch tv. It's very comfortable. It shouldn't feel like this. After dessert I excuse myself to put Beth to sleep. She gives Noah a hug and kiss then gives Santana a hug and kiss. Santana says she's leaving and we say our goodbyes with Beth around my neck and Noah's eyes glued to us. I take Beth upstairs and when I return the livingroom is empty. I look outside and Noah and Santana are talking in front of her house. I sigh. How did I get myself into this mess. I sit down and flip through the channels and wait impatiently for him to come back. He finally does. "I'm stuffed! Whew, it took a lot outta me just to walk back across the street!" He sat beside me and put his arm around me. I wondered what they talked about, I wait but he never tells me. He was probably just being friendly. I mean he appreciates how much Santana does for Beth and I when he's away. Yeah that's it, he had a friendly talk with her. Weeks go by and nothing changes our weeks are like this. We get visits from family and friends. We have dinners and bbqs. We have date nights, and family outings. Everything between Noah and I seem normal again. And everything between Santana and I seem like it's the way it's supposed to be. We talk and text often she comes over when we have gatherings but nothing inappropriate not even a kiss. I haven't asked her why but I assume it's because Noah is here. Today is Noah's last day here and we have a goodbye dinner. His brother Jake and his girlfriend are in town. Fran, Steve, and the kids come. Finn, Noah's best friend comes. Brittany comes and brings her friend Rachel who is also close friends with Santana. Santana should be here any second. Everything is set up in the back yard. Music is playing and everyone is enjoying themselves.

The kids are busy playing, the guys talking and drinking. The girls gossiping and drinking. Everything is flowing nicely when Santana shows up. "Damn Lopez! You clean up nicely!" Noah shouts out. Everyone laughs as Santana flips her hair "Well ya know, what can I say!" Noah walks over to her and picks her up as her hugs her. Brittany and Fran look at each other noticeably. Almost as if without words they were talking to each other. I haven't told either of them anything about Santana. They know we still hang out but I no longer talk about my feelings for her. She walks over to the guys and says hello, then over to the kids where Beth hugs her neck when she picks her up. Then she walks over to us. She properly introduces herself to Fran and Marley then says hi to Brittany and Rachel. I hug her and offer her drink. She says yes and we walk over to the cooler to get her a beer. "So how was your day?" I ask as I move her hair out of her face. "It was good. Busy but not as busy as yours I can assume." I laughed "Yeah it's been nonstop but it's worth it. To get everyone together for Noah." She opens her beer and we walk back over to the group.

Everything was wonderful. The food was great thanks to Fran, Brit, and I. Everyone was full and a least a little buzzed when they left. Brittany and Rachel stay at Santana's for the night because they are too drunk to make it home. Noah is fast asleep and has to be up by eight. Beth is asleep. I'm wide awake. My phone dings 'Are you up?' It's Brittany. 'Yeah.' It takes her awhile to reply back 'Should I have sex with Santana?' I sit up on the couch. I mean they are both single and just because I have feelings for Santana doesn't mean I should say no. I have had sex with Noah. 'I don't see why not. Good night.' I go to bed. I can't stop thinking about Santana and Brittany. Did Santana want to have sex with Brittany too? Hopefully it was just drunken babble. I fall asleep thinking about what happens if they do have sex. Does it change things between Santana and I? Should it change the dynamics of my friendship with Brittany? I feel numb knowing that in a few hours I'll be all alone again and this time I don't even know when Noah will return. I lock myself in the bathroom and cry. I'm so tired of crying.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi! So I'm not sure why but I'm really enjoying writing this story. I am working on a new chapter for Come Back Be Here to all of my loyal fans of that story! But until then I hope you all are enjoying this one. I also hope if you haven't read my other stories that you go and do so. I like PMs, I enjoy feedback, I like talking to you guys so review, and PM all you want.

Love, Lei xx

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It's been a week since Noah left. A week since I've ignored everyone in my life except Beth. I need some time to myself so Jake is coming to pick up Beth so she can spend the week with Noah's mom. I haven't talked to Santana because we can't go back to where we were even if she didn't have sex with Brittany. I haven't talked to Fran or Brit because I can't talk to them the way I want to and I sure as hell can't spill how I've been feeling to them. I pack Beth's stuff and sit her on my lap to talk to her. "Mommy loves you! I'll call you everyday! And be good for Nana okay?" Beth shakes her head yes and says "Okay." I just giggle and kiss her forehead. When Jake gets here I pack up the car while he gets her car seat together. It never fails as I'm waving to them as they drive away Santana comes out of her house. I roll my eyes and turn to walk away. Shockingly she doesn't stop me. I hear my phone ringing when I close the door. I rush to answer it but miss it. It's Brittany. I don't call her back. Later I'm on Facebook and see a picture of her, Rachel, and Santana out. I just put my phone down. Tomorrow I'm going to look for a job and for daycare for Beth. Being a stay at home mom is driving me insane. I haven't told anyone other than my parents who said they'd help me out with money as they always have. I have the number to a few local photographers and I'm going to see if they are hiring, fingers crossed I can at least get part time hours. Being in these four walls with almost no adult interaction is driving me insane.

I go shower and change into a t-shirt and panties. I turn on some music and grab a glass of wine. It's been forever since I've enjoyed a night to myself. Now I have a week to do just that. I might go catch a movie. I'll most definitely talk to Brittany and Fran so I can see them. I might go see Brit and we can go out for a girls night in NYC. I dance around the livingroom when I hear a roar of thunder then lightening cracks through the sky. I settle down on the couch with my wine and a book. Good thing I'm in for the night. I'm deep into the book when I hear the rain. I fall asleep on the couch and wake up to something outside. I look out on the porch and it's Santana. It's still raining and now it's way into the am hours. She's singing Moon River, I think she's drunk. I open the door. "Santana... are you okay?" She jumps "Shit, you scared me! I um..." she stands up, "I locked my keys in my car. I was gonna knock on the door I just needed a few seconds to think." I look at her, indeed she's drunk. "Well come in. You can stay on the couch and in the morning call someone who can get into your car." I hear her trail behind me. I go upstairs to get a pillow and blanket. When I turn around she is in the bedroom door way. "I was thinking maybe I could sleep with you."

"I don't know if that's a good..." before I can finish the sentence the power goes out. The storm must have knocked it out. I light some candles that are in the room. I guess it'll be okay if she sleeps up here. She's so drunk that I'm sure she'll just pass out as soon as she gets comfortable. "Fine. You can sleep up here." She sits on the bed and takes of her heels, then her dress. I get her a t-shirt to put on but she doesn't want to and I refuse to argue with a drunk Santana. I lay beside her in bed. It's unnecessarily quiet. "Did you have sex with her?" She looks at me as she sits up "With who?" I'm not even sure why I'm asking her "Brittany..." She sighs "That's not really any of your business." I sit up "You're right. I'm going to sleep on the couch." I get out of bed "You know you can't always have things your way! The world doesn't revolve around you Quinn Puckerman!" I turn around to look at her, now I'm starting to get angry. "And if I did have sex with your best friend... what? What does it matter? Didn't you have sex with Puck?" I'm done holding things back from her "You don't get to do this Santana. Of course I had sex with him, he's my husband. I didn't want to, every time he touched me I wished it was you. I don't think the world revolves around me! You don't think I haven't thought this through a million times over. How this will affect my family? How Noah is a good man who is fighting for our freedom and doesn't deserve this? How this will affect Beth? How this will affect you? I'm not being selfish! It's not okay to be this unhappy when happiness is as simple as being with someone you love!"

The word love resonates with the both of us. I said I loved her basically. "I didn't have sex with Brittany okay. She knew I wouldn't. I ended up telling her all about us. And she wasn't shocked but she was hurt she had to hear it from me and not you." I sat back on the bed. I remember when there was a time everyone thought Brittany was stupid, I always knew otherwise. "What did you tell her?" I ask because I want to know what Santana feels not what Brittany knows. "I told her that I have all these feelings for you and I know they're wrong. That I wish I could ignore them but I can't. And that I think Puck knows about us." My heart almost stops "WHAT?!" I'm mortified! "When he talked to me he asked me to take care of you and Beth if anything happened to him. I said of course I would. And he said 'I see the way she looks at you, and talks to you. She loves you. In a way that she's never loved me. Don't break her, girls like Quinn are hard to mend.'" We just sat there. So if Noah knows was he giving us the green light, and why didn't he say anything to me? Was he waiting for me to tell him? I'm so hurt and torn right now. "So why did you back away from me Santana? After that day things changed!" She sat back against the headboard "I figured if he had enough balls and respect to have that talk with me the least I could do is respect him while he was here. He's a good guy. He knows you're a good woman. He knows I'm a good person too. We all know this situation isn't simple."

There's nothing else to say. There's nowhere to go and nothing else to do other than lay in bed. I can't sleep, why would I be able to. Santana isn't asleep either. She's on one side of the bed and I'm on the other. I'm so overwhelmed. I do the one thing that always makes me feel better. I sing "I've waited a hundred years. But I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do." I close my eyes. "If I had only felt the warmth within your touch. If I had only seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough. Well I would have known what I was living for all along. What I've been living for. Your love is my turning page. Where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line. Every touch is a redefining phrase." I feel tears running down my cheeks but I can't stop singing. "I surrender who I've been for who you are. For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours. Well I would have known what I've been living for all along. What I've been living for." I open my eyes, Santana is sitting up and tears are running down her face. "Though we're tethered to the story we must tell. When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well. With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas. Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees." She kisses me. "I love you." I look into her eyes as the flickering lights of the candles glow "I love you too Santana."

I blow out the candles, and she holds me until we fall asleep. We wake up to music. The power just came back on. She gets up to go to the bathroom and then makes a few calls to see if she can get someone to open her door so she can get her keys. While she's on the phone and after I turned the music off my phone rings. "Hello?" and it's his voice "Hey babymama! How are you and the munchkin?" I walk downstairs "Beth's with your mom for a week." He paused "Oh, I'll give them a call then. How are you?" I'm mad as hell is what I should've said "I've been better." Another pause "Talk to me woman!" "Noah you knew, the whole time you were here you knew. And you let me drive myself crazy worrying and wondering what I was going to do. You talked to her. You told her not to break me." It took him awhile to say anything. "I was actually hoping it wasn't true. But when I talked to her and she didn't deny it, I knew. What do you want? My permission? I mean seriously. Do what you want to do, I just want you to be happy. I want you to make a decision for yourself for once." Even though he's being harsh I understand. "I love you Noah. I will always love you but..." Santana comes down the stairs "But I think we both know that it's best that we don't pretend anymore." Santana looks at me with pain in her eyes. "Okay. So it's official. We are over and you can move on without a guilty conscious. I'll talk to you when I get home and pack up my things. Not sure when they'll be but yeah. Goodbye Quinn." He hung up without letting me say anything. I should feel relieved but I feel miserable.

Santana holds me in her arms until she has to go outside to greet the man who is getting into her car. While she's gone. I call Fran and Brittany. I tell them I need to see them as I sob on the phone and they both tell me they are on the way. I text Santana and tell her I need time to myself with them and she says okay. When they get there I'm a mess. I really don't know if I've made the right choice or if was being selfish. But to think about it me marrying Noah was selfish. I married him because I knew my parents didn't want me to, he was everything I couldn't have growing up. What if that's what I'm doing with Santana. We all talk and talk and talk. Fran says there was a time when she wanted to leave Steve because he works more than he's home and she feels like a single mom. The reason she didn't was because she can't do it all alone. Comfort, stability, and she settled. I don't want that to be my life. Brittany said that she knew since day one that this was going to happen and when she talked to Santana it just made it much more obvious. And I know part of me should be happy that I can have Santana the way I want her without restrictions but I don't even want to see her.

After Brittany and Fran leave I'm thankful that I am alone. I just scream at the top of my lungs until I almost lose my voice. I'm so frustrated with life and what is going on. I wish this would have never happened. I wish I would have just had a normal chance at happiness that didn't involve destroying Noah. I feel like shit, I feel like I've made so many mistakes at the cost of other people. So I drink. I wake up in Santana's room naked. She's not in bed with me. I look at my phone, and there's a text from her saying she had to go to work but she'll stop by when she gets off so we can talk. I begin to put things together. My memory is still pretty dicey. I remember drinking way too much. I remember thinking I'd come over and seduce Santana. I remember putting on my long trench coat and heels, that's it and making my way across the street. I remember her opening the door and me opening the coat. I remember her pulling me in and her being mad. But then I remember us kissing and her hands all over naked body. And that's it. I'm unsure if we had sex. I hope we didn't because I can't remember it at all.

She stops by after work as promised but she's already been home and has showered and changed clothes. She brings us dinner, chinese food. I am still a little hungover. I ask her what happened last night. "Well... you came over really drunk and you wanted to have sex but I didn't want to because you could barely walk straight let alone make up your mind on making a decision we waited so long to make. We did make out though a lot." I laughed "What? You were naked! I have self control just not that much." I laugh even harder. "Thank you for not taking advantage of that situation." Santana sat her food down and took my hand "I never would have. I respect you so much and I'm here for you however you need me. Even if you don't want to have sex with me anytime soon. I understand." I put my fork down "What if I want to have sex with you right now?" She almost spits out her drink "Have you been drinking again?" We both laugh and I grab her hand and lead her to the bedroom. She's so cautious with my heart like she knows just how fragile I am "Are you sure?" I take off my shirt and toss it on the floor than begin to take off my shorts "Positive."


End file.
